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<title>I’ve Given Up On You by nothingbutaproblem</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061099">I’ve Given Up On You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingbutaproblem/pseuds/nothingbutaproblem'>nothingbutaproblem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dadza, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insanity, Other, References to Depression, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, TommyInnit - Freeform, philza - Freeform, vent - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:13:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingbutaproblem/pseuds/nothingbutaproblem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>tommyinnit going through it. vent tbh.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I’ve Given Up On You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>cw: suicidal ideations</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alone. </p><p>It’s hard to remember a time he wasn’t.</p><p>Tommy had felt this way for far too long, as long as he could remember. Even when he was a child. Even when he was around other people. No one around him tried to understand him or what he was going through. </p><p>No one cared. </p><p>No one cared to notice how much he had been struggling. They only cared to point out his mistakes. Somehow they could take the time to exile him but didn’t have the time to notice how much he had been struggling alone for most of his life.</p><p>His own father loved Ranboo more than him. He cared more for someone he barely knew than his own flesh and blood. How can you raise someone but never truly care about them?</p><p>Philza didn’t want to acknowledge that he was a shit dad. It seems so obvious, but he genuinely thought he was doing a good job. Hell, look at Wilbur. Why didn’t Phil try to help him before he was on the brink of insanity? </p><p>He just wanted Philza to love him. To be proud of him for once. It would be nice if he would notice how hard Tommy was trying. </p><p>Why is it that no one notices how hard you try but they immediately notice if you slack off? He needed a break. A break from himself. From his thoughts. A break from the expectations and judgements from everyone including himself. </p><p>Tubbo. Fucking Tubbo. People only cared about him when it was fun and easy. They wanted to be best friends when it came to him being funny or helping them but the second he was struggling they’re completely quiet. Tubbo abandoned him. He’s aware Tubbo didn’t have a choice, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. </p><p>Tommy’s mind traveled to a dark place often. Truthfully, I don’t think it ever left that place. He knew he was capable of going absolutely crazy. There was something in his body holding him back, but he feared, if people kept pushing, the thing holding him back would dissolve.</p><p>What was stopping him from running and never again showing his face to anyone he knew? Its not like they would care. And if they would, they sure do a shit job of showing it. </p><p>What was stopping him from jumping into the great pools of lava so prominently available in the nether? They were practically begging him to do it. To let the warmth of the lava engulf him. </p><p>Maybe it would make up for how cold he felt emotionally. He needed someone to hug him and tell him it would be okay. Someone who would actually care, and stay.</p><p>He feared no one noticed how miserable he was because he had been that way for so long. Him being closed off wasn’t anything out of the ordinary so no one would think about it having a deeper cause than him just being a bitch.</p><p>You know what killed Tommy the most? </p><p>Despite how shitty everyone made him feel constantly, always pushing him closer to taking his own life, if the many times he had tried would’ve been successful the same people who had been making his life a living hell would be saying how heartbroken they were. </p><p>They would say they wish they know or could’ve helped, but how did they not know? He had been miserable for years surely someone noticed. </p><p>No one cares or takes you seriously until you’re actually dead. And that fucking sucks.</p><p>He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to put an end to his miserable existence. For his own good and for everyone else’s.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>first fic I’ve written pls tell me what u think :) also if u relate to this ur not alone in that and I wish nothing but the best for the people reading this</p></blockquote></div></div>
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